Welcome to my little corner of the web. This is meant to entertain any who care to hear the stories of my own meandering experiences. I hope you laugh as I relive some of my most ridiculous moments and are kept guessing at what is next to come.
It has been a few days... 10 I think, and I am back, but just for a quick post. I will be bringing you more hilarities very soon, but wanted to drop this off on the way back from the office; a random thought I had today that may or may not make sense:
"If I could penetrate music the way that music penetrates my soul, that may be the only intimate relationship I would ever need."
Now, I know it's unrealistic, but I have such a love for good music, and I have been flooded by it as of late. I encourage you to check out these bands:
All of these bands and their albums are sure to make your ear drums beat oh so sweet. Check them out and enjoy the listening bliss my friends. Beast Out!
Well, I have much more exciting posts to follow later this week, but I wanted to share something I found while procrastinating via the web recently. I am not sure what I started with first, probably StumbleUpon, but I came across a blog about German cooking. So I started Googling different aspects of German culture and geography. Soon, I found myself Googling "Bavarian Beast," and to my surprise I came across this little gem of an article about German wildlife:
"There is also a strange beast living in Bavaria. It is an elusive little animal that very few people had the chance of seeing. It is best described as a white, rather round, hairy little animal with a beak and horned ears..."
People, I would not describe myself as little, but rather round and hairy... sure... okay. Also, I have been told I have a dark complexion, but I am white on the Census and of mainly German ancestry. While most of my ancestors reigned from the province of Westfalia, they were in Germany, and somewhat close to the province of Bavaria. So I kept reading with increased interest.
"...Its feet are like that of a bird..."
Okay, here is where I got a little too excited. My feet are like that of a bird. My second and third toes on each of my feet are webbed. I have webbed toes. Exhibit A:
The paragraph continued...
"...and its name is as strange as the beast itself: Wolperdinger."
Now this was all in a post I found at this website that had an article about wildlife.The part about the Bavarian Beast is at the end of the post. After I read it, I started to Google Wolperdinger, but found all other descriptions to be less entertaining as they mostly resembled the Jackalope. Here is the picture listed with the post I read:
What do you think? Add some red suspenders and dark Shiner stains and it's my twin? Ha ha. I thought the whole thing was pretty hilarious and knew I had to share.
On a completely different note, to all those who may or may not be celebrating Valentine's Day, read here for a quick overview of its true origins. Also, if you feel you must partake, do it with some humor. Someecards is the best website for a quick shot of daily humor, especially on occasions such as this.
Well, I'm not sure if this is the final thaw of Winter, but I sure am enjoying this beautiful weather. 60's and 70's this weekend, so the Beast will be out to play. I hope you do the same. Also, do yourself a favor: no matter how long or short your drive home from work is today, roll down your windows, throw on your shades, and blast your favorite happy song as you cruise down the road. Let that hair down and enjoy the sun! Here is what I had blasting in my car:
Well, it looks like the Winter weather we have been having is about to go away... at least for a while. It is going to dip down to 10 degrees tonight, and we will not get above freezing tomorrow, but this weekend we will be in the 60s... Texas weather is bi-polar, and right now, thank God for that. We have now had four separate storms with snow and/or ice since the new year began. If you live anywhere in or near North Texas, you know how crazy and excited the news channels get for Winter weather. They just can't stop talking about it. But we did have quite a lot of snow if you ask me. Last week we had a lot, and then we had some more the middle of this week. I was pretty excited... at first. Last Thursday night, I did not sleep much. Like a little kid hoping for a snow day, except with a few White Russians to keep me company, I stayed up to watch how much snow would fall, checking the view from the back and front porches frequently throughout the night. Again, weather nerd here. It was a decent amount of snow for this area of Texas, and it sure did create an interesting scenario for the Super Bowl. By the way, my favorite ad was the Motorola one. It advertised their Xoom tablet PC that they hope will compete with the iPad. There is a decent write up about it here.
Here is the Motorola Ad:
And here is the original ad ran by Apple in 1984 that Motorola is spoofing:
I think Motorola was pretty much spot on!
But back to the point. I took quite a few photos and videos of the snow etc., but I seem to have misplaced my camera. While indulging in what I like to call the D Double T (Doc's and Tony's Tavern, the two main and previously often mention bars in Muenster) I let the buckets creep up on me and I somehow managed to lose my camera. By the way, if you were at Tony's last weekend and found a black Nikon, I would greatly appreciate if you let me know or just took it back to Tony's. It is actually not my camera, rather it is the camera that my sister and I bought our brother as a congratulatory gift when he graduated from Officer Candidate School, my bro is a Marine and I'm pretty damn proud of him. It sort of runs in our family (my dad and uncle are both retired Marines). Anyways, with the snow and ice, I was in a mood to have a good time, and that I did. Saw some more great friends, crashed at my grandma's house one night (she offered to make me breakfast in the morning which I had to decline due to the fact that I was already 10 minutes late for "work") and crashed at one of my "in-town" headquarters another night. A great friend of my brother's and mine used to live with his mom in town and we used to eat, sleep, and party there quite a bit back then and even into college. Then he moved into his own house, which I now frequent. But that has not stopped us from spending Saturday and Sunday mornings waking up on their couches to the sounds of their giggling grandkids. The mornings there are always entertaining as we talk about the night we had before and catch up with the fam. They are always so welcoming and forgiving. Sometimes we come in a little loud and sometime a little hungry... they are so good to us. Heck, we sleep there even when none of their kids are around, and they are still so nice to us... even though we snore, stink, eat, and deuce up their house. It's great to have those "in-town" headquarters, and I am lucky to have quite a few. Makes life easier and safer. I only wish my Dorito Face was not so horrible. I would feel a little better about resting my head on these wonderful people's furniture... ha ha.
But anyway... Doc's was good as usual and Tony's too. Got to see the regulars and had the opportunity to do my version of the two-step with a "gal" from Chi-Town. It was pretty funny... there I was in a pair of cowboy boots (barely) , an Army surplus jacket, and a modified version of the Castro hat atop my head, and apparently I just looked like the authority on country/western dancing... ha ha. But it was a lot of fun. I had pics, but of course they disappeared with my, eh hem, my brother's camera. If you're reading this my brother, I do apologize, and as soon as this blog lands me on some sketch comedy or MTV reality show and puts some greenbacks in my front pocket wallet, (I never liked billfolds, they are too uncomfortable to sit on and too bulky. I am an advocate for front pocket wallets and money clips) I will purchase you a wonderful new camera that kicks the lost one's specs to the dirt. But enough ramblings from me... as you can tell these past two weeks have been full of frigid temperatures, lots of "quality" time at home and in-town headquarters, snow and ice, White Russians, buckets of beer, D Double Ts, and of course Dorito Faces. With that here are some of the pics I managed to save before losing the camera.
Needless to say, we did not get any mail, and the Blockbuster movie we had been trying to return was obviously ruined:
This is what the County Road that runs perpendicular to the lane leading to my house looked like:
The creek on said County Road:
This poor calf. In the past two weeks, he has jumped a fence and crossed a cattle guard to seek shelter from the north winds on the south side of our house four times of which I am aware. I tried to invite him to sleep in the utility room, but there was a language barrier there, even though we are both of the Beast variety:
Impressive icicle on the back porch and at the store:
Snow coming down three days later:
This was my attempt at a snow gauge. It is pretty redneck, I know, but it is what I had: a Marlboro Blend 27 stuck into the snow up to the end of the filter. I did this around 3 am after it had already been snowing. The next morning, the entire cig was under snow, the pic of which was lost:
It was an interesting and unusual couple of weeks, and I am glad to say I survived the winter storms of February 2011. With that, I leave you with this video. Heaven must have great weather, better than these past weeks, but wouldn't Hell have some great company? Beast Out!
I am sure everyone has closely been watching the winter storm that has been unfolding across Texas and a good chunk of the country this week. I hear my friends in Central Texas and the Hill Country are going to be getting their fair share of Winter weather tonight and into tomorrow. I always check with The National Weather Service and Pete Delkus when keeping tabs on the weather. As I may have mentioned before, I am a bit of a weather fanatic. I actually preferred Troy Duncan as my trusted meteorologist, but he has retired and left his WFAA Channel 8 empire in Pete's capable hands. I still feel Pete needs to prove himself to me, but I continue to have faith. Plus, I thoroughly enjoy the on air antics between Pete and Dale Hansen. But that conversation is neither here nor there. Back to the point:
It has been below freezing here in Muenster since Monday night, and with ice and snow still covering the roads it has been a challenge to get out of the house. Thankfully my dad has 4 wheel drive. I will post pics of the snow and ice after it finally ends. We are slated to get more snow tonight and tomorrow. For the most part, I have been stuck in the house with my 'rents and a steady supply of White Russians. However, there are only so many Lifetime Original Movies you can bare to watch with your mother before going completely crazy. So, I turned to the internet for some relief and entertainment. Specifically, I have turned to a segment that "Jimmy Kimmel Live" calls "Kimmel Kartoons." The clips are pretty funny. Here are just a few of my favorites. You can check out more videos on Kimmel's YouTube Channel.
Oprah's Favorite Things and Dora the Explorer Mashup:
Celebrity Plastic Surgery with Heidi Montag and The Flinstones Mashup:
Barbara Walters with Justin Beiber and Year Without Santa Claus Mashup:
And Finally, The Real Housewives of Atlanta and The Jetsons Mashup:
I hope you found some humor in these clips and check out Kimmel's YouTube channel to find more entertaining videos.
Let's hope we all come out of this storm with our loved ones unscathed from the hours we have spent together this past week. It was pleasant in the beginning, but we are all susceptible to cabin fever and the consequences it may bring. Stay safe on the roads and warm in your homes my friends. Until next time, Beast Out!
(First, let me start by saying I typed this all last night before the snow and ice hit but fell asleep before actually posting it)
Well, the weekend is over and it's now the next "work" week, although this one promises to be eventful as ice and snow make their way to our doorsteps here in North Texas. I am sure to have photos and stories from what may be the storm of the century... ha ha. But back to this past weekend's festivities...
It was one for which I could find no complaint. There were birthdays to celebrate, some live music to absorb, and some beautiful weather. It was in the 70s only days before we expected to get wind chills in the below zero range accompanied by sleet and snow. Brrr. I began the weekend by driving to Denton to meet some of my buddies at a friend's apartment to celebrate her birthday. We met and caught up as we waited for everyone to arrive and get ready and dressed in their western finest. It seemed that Michelob Ultra was the drink of choice for the pregame activities. After getting ready, we were off to Fort Worth to see the Josh Abbott Band at Billy Bob's Texas, the largest Honky Tonk in the world... only in Texas my friends, only in Texas. While I am not too familiar with Josh Abbott, I knew it would be a good night no matter what. I was in good company for the night, mostly old classmates from high school, and it was my first adventure to Billy Bob's. On top of that, the Fort Worth Stock Show and Rodeo was in progress, so upon arriving to the massive honky tonk we found a sea of boots and cowboy hats. I was a little overwhelmed at first. I had never seen that many people at a country music concert, although I must admit I have not been to many. We waited in the will call line for what seemed to be quite some time. After the wait, we made our way into the bar. I was astounded. I had never imagined the bar would be so massive and so crowded. It almost felt like an indoor, all-country version of ACL Fest. There were people everywhere and it was a challenge just to weave through the crowd in the pool table section to make it to the bathroom (yes people, there were massive designated sections throughout the bar for almost every kind of activity that you would imagine taking place in a honky tonk). After grabbing some beers, we made our way to the back room where the band was playing. It was even more packed, so we parked ourselves in front of the nearest bar and commenced to dancing, singing, and celebrating our friend's birthday. Here is a pic of me and the birthday girl:
As a pleasant surprise, we ran into some newlywed friends of ours as well as the new bride's sisters.
I ran into them after the band had ended the show and we were pushed out of the concert area by security. Now I will admit that at this point I had been hanging by the bar for some time, and I could not seem to find the group I had come with. Thankfully, I ran into the newlyweds and sisters. They seemed to take care of me and assured me I could stay with them that night if necessary. Then, after attempting to convince them to take a pic together on a life sized bull, a failed venture, and a pic I told them would go great in this post, and checking out the gift shop, I got a call from my ride. They had thought the bar was closing when we were pushed out of the concert area and had gone to the car and realized I was missing as they were ready to exit the parking lot. I thanked the newlyweds and sisters for taking care of me and dashed out to catch my ride back to Denton. We made a pit stop at Whataburger before arriving back to the apartment after a fun drive to munch and finish the Michelobs we had left behind in the fridge. Oh, and on the way back we saw the other car that accompanied us making an impromptu pit-stop on the side of I-35 for what we knew was most likely the purging of alcohol. Then it was crash time. We sprawled out on the couch and floor in the living room to sleep, although there was not much of that to speak of. It was like a high school reunion slumber party as we woke up about every two hours to talk and reminisce about old teachers, old friends, and fond memories. Finally, around 6 AM, I lay my head down on the pillow I was sharing with two of my friends on the floor and fell asleep. Our bodies were like the legs of the Isle of Man flag, the pillow and our heads the center. (I once met a pretty cool guy from the Isle of Man while staying at the India House Hostel in NOLA on a road trip with my brother)
The next day, we watched Tosh.O while waiting on those who had to work that morning to return so we could get some grub. After some good eats at Buffalo Wild Wings, their menu offers a great wrap, and a stop at Plato's Closet, I made my way to Sachse to attend a party for my cousin's birthday. She was turning 29 on the 29th, definite grounds for celebration. It was beautiful weather and even more beautiful company as I got to see several of my cousins. I indulged in a couple of Shiner Bock draft beers courtesy of my cousin and her husband's homemade garage kegerator. Mmmmm, there is nothing like enjoying a Shiner on a sunny day while catching up with my cousins. The conversation was lively and full of laughs as always, not to mention several reminders that in our family, voices tend to carry. One topic of conversation was not necessarily family friendly, and leaving names out, we gave a pair of our cousins some homework. I'll just say the consensus was that intimacy of all sorts is always important in a healthy relationship... ha ha. That and the fact that certain acts must maintain a delicate balance for all involved parties. Now I am not sure how I managed to carry my camera in my jeans the entire time I was at the birthday cook out and have no pictures, but I assure you it was a gorgeous day and a great time. I got to see my cousins and view one particular cousin's amazing artwork in person. He free handed some great Dr. Seuss inspired paintings on the walls in his daughter's play room. It was quite impressive. You can find some of his work on Etsy. After a few hours enjoying the deck and the company, I had to cut my time short and make my way back north and into Oklahoma. Oklahoma? you may ask, but it was to meet yet another group of friends to enjoy some more live music at WinStar. It was there that Joan Jett and the Blackhearts were playing (props to my friend who made the concert-going possible). The fun promised to never end that day. I made it just in time to walk into the Casino doors right after my friends, welcomed by a massive fountain and two pairs of dragons made of crystals hanging from the ceiling. We had entered the Beijing section of the massive Chikasaw Nation owned Casino. We then thanked and bid farewell to our Jillinski, AKA the woman who made sure we all made it back to Muenster safely that night after a ride in the Mollenkopf van. Then, after a quick stop at the bathroom, we made our way into the auditorium, grabbed our beers, and found our seats. Little to my knowledge, the opening act for Joan was Gin Blossoms. Talk about a 90s flashback! In case you don't know, here is one of their most popular songs:
They definitely got the women in the crowd primed for Joan. I was slightly surprised to see so many middle-aged women jumping and hollering along to their show, but it made for a fun atmosphere. After catching the tail end of their set, we made our second beer and bathroom runs and settled in for Joan's arrival on stage. While waiting in line for beer, I managed to see several girls most likely around my age looking very much like Kristen Stewart from when she portrayed Joan in the movie "The Runaways." Now mind you, I am no Kristen Stewart fan, her constant hand to hair swoops in the few movies I have seen her in are quite annoying (I have not and will not watch Twilight, I'll stick to True Blood, but she did pull off a fairly convincing Joan):
After finding our seats once again, not that we actually set in them much, Joan Jett... Joan freaking Jett... J-E-T-T JOAN JOAN JETT entered the room. (By the way, she made it clear she is a Packers fan that night). Now I am no Joan fanatic, but I know most of her songs and was pretty pumped to see her live. After all, she is a bit of a rock icon and I was surprised that after years on the road and her fair share of drug, sex, and rock 'n' roll (I've always wanted to legitimately use that phrase in a published sentence), that she still sounded quite good. I mean, I have somewhat recently seen Willie Nelson and Bob Dylan live and (music gods and Manna forgive me) was not too impressed by their raw voices. Joan on the other hand sounded like she is still on top of her game. I know their respective ages are quite different and that in 20 to 30 years she will most likely sound very different, but still, I was impressed. (Please do not infer from this that I lack respect for Willie or Bob... I do not in any sense of the word. I was just expecting Joan to sound a little more worn like them.)
But, I digress. Where were we? Oh yes, Joan. She came out on stage and proceeded to rock the entire room. I split time during the show between the two groups of seating we had (half of us on the left side of the center aisle and half of us on the right). I did not sit or stand motionless at any time during her set. Here are a couple of poorly recorded videos to give you a preview:
"Bad Reputation"
I was pretty wrapped up in the show at the time so I did not get a recording of "Crimson and Clover," but it does happen to be one of my favorites, and as an added plus I was next to my GB and Cheryl at the time it was played. Joan sang all of her classics and after coming back on stage for an encore, she left us with her cover of "Everyday People" by Sly & The Family Stone. A great song to end our night with her. Several minutes after her final exit from the stage and after cheers from the crowd subdued, our Joan crew gathered to make our exit from the auditorium, but not without a photo courtesy of a not-so-tech-savvy security guy:
To say the least, it was a rough crowd, but a great one at that... ha ha. After grabbing just one more drink, we grabbed our DD, sweet Jillinski, and a big thank you to her for getting us home... hm hum... to Tony's safely. Yes, after indulging our ears at WinStar, we indulged our sense for some hometown fun at Tony's Tavern. Now I know I have mentioned Tony's in just about every post so far and here is the reason why: there are two things you can always find there: buckets of beer and buds of old:
My short time at Tony's that night served as the perfect CH-CH-CH-CH-CH-CH-CH-CH CHERRY BOMB to top off my rockin' sundae of a weekend. All in all, I added to the earnings of Michelob, Bud, Miller, Shiner, and of course Natty, in the respective order in which they were consumed. My Sunday was pretty lazy. It was spent lying on my good friend's couch watching informative shows on The History Channel. We watched several episodes of "Ax Men," in which we found our favorite character to be Shelby the Swamp Man:
I would pay money to spend a week on the bayou with this guy. He is pretty much amazing, AKA his shit is float! (This is a saying you may hear often from me. I am somewhat trying to start a new trend to replace the saying "he/it is solid." When you say someone's shit is float, you are saying they are the shit, as in their shit is so much the shit, that you can't flush it because it is so float that it resists the flush). I highly encourage you to adopt the phrase and to tune into "Ax Men." I am now officially addicted to the show. We then indulged ourselves in some viewing of "The Big Lebowski," a favorite movie of mine. For those of you who are familiar with The Dude, I am sipping on a White Russian as I type this post, and I say to you, "forget about the f***ing toe!"
After a long and eventful weekend, I called it quits and came home Monday afternoon to rest up in order to be able to enjoy the coming winter storm in true Muenster fashion, AKA snow day road. That post is something to look forward to, you and me alike. For those of you who may not know, I am a bit of a weather freak, and in my excitement it is likely I will see little sleep tonight.
With that, I say goodnight. It should be interesting to experience a thunder snow/sleet storm tonight and tomorrow, and I look forward to creating some more stories to share with you. Until then, I leave you with this song that was shared with me by the recent birthday girl: my cousin:
