Thursday, February 24, 2011

Drip Drip There Goes an Eargasm

It has been a few days... 10 I think, and I am back, but just for a quick post. I will be bringing you more hilarities very soon, but wanted to drop this off on the way back from the office; a random thought I had today that may or may not make sense:

"If I could penetrate music the way that music penetrates my soul, that may be the only intimate relationship I would ever need."

Now, I know it's unrealistic, but I have such a love for good music, and I have been flooded by it as of late. I encourage you to check out these bands:

G. Love and Special Sauce- New Album featuring some of the Avett boys
Tv on the Radio- New Album

All of these bands and their albums are sure to make your ear drums beat oh so sweet. Check them out and enjoy the listening bliss my friends. Beast Out!

Monday, February 14, 2011

Wolperdinger: The Beast is Alive and Well in Bavaria

Well, I have much more exciting posts to follow later this week, but I wanted to share something I found while procrastinating via the web recently. I am not sure what I started with first, probably StumbleUpon, but I came across a blog about German cooking. So I started Googling different aspects of German culture and geography. Soon, I found myself Googling "Bavarian Beast," and to my surprise I came across this little gem of an article about German wildlife:

"There is also a strange beast living in Bavaria. It is an elusive little animal that very few people had the chance of seeing. It is best described as a white, rather round, hairy little animal with a beak and horned ears..." 

People, I would not describe myself as little, but rather round and hairy... sure... okay.  Also, I have been told I have a dark complexion, but I am white on the Census and of mainly German ancestry. While most of my ancestors reigned from the province of Westfalia, they were in Germany, and somewhat close to the province of Bavaria. So I kept reading with increased interest.
"...Its feet are like that of a bird..."

Okay, here is where I got a little too excited. My feet are like that of a bird. My second and third toes on each of my feet are webbed. I have webbed toes. Exhibit A:
 The paragraph continued...

"...and its name is as strange as the beast itself: Wolperdinger."

Now this was all in a post I found at this website that had an article about wildlife. The part about the Bavarian Beast is at the end of the post. After I read it, I started to Google Wolperdinger, but found all other descriptions to be less entertaining as they mostly resembled the Jackalope. Here is the picture listed with the post I read:

 What do you think? Add some red suspenders and dark Shiner stains and it's my twin? Ha ha. I thought the whole thing was pretty hilarious and knew I had to share. 

On a completely different note, to all those who may or may not be celebrating Valentine's Day, read here for a quick overview of its true origins. Also, if you feel you must partake, do it with some humor. Someecards is the best website for a quick shot of daily humor, especially on occasions such as this. 

Beast Out!

Friday, February 11, 2011

Beautiful Weekend and the Thaw of Winter

Well, I'm not sure if this is the final thaw of Winter, but I sure am enjoying this beautiful weather. 60's and 70's this weekend, so the Beast will be out to play. I hope you do the same. Also, do yourself a favor: no matter how long or short your drive home from work is today, roll down your windows, throw on your shades, and blast your favorite happy song as you cruise down the road. Let that hair down and enjoy the sun! Here is what I had blasting in my car:

Thursday, February 10, 2011

DFW News Channels Love a Winter Storm, But Then Again So Do I

Well, it looks like the Winter weather we have been having is about to go away... at least for a while. It is going to dip down to 10 degrees tonight, and we will not get above freezing tomorrow, but this weekend we will be in the 60s... Texas weather is bi-polar, and right now, thank God for that. We have now had four separate storms with snow and/or ice since the new year began. If you live anywhere in or near North Texas, you know how crazy and excited the news channels get for Winter weather. They just can't stop talking about it. But we did have quite a lot of snow if you ask me. Last week we had a lot, and then we had some more the middle of this week. I was pretty excited... at first. Last Thursday night, I did not sleep much. Like a little kid hoping for a snow day, except with a few White Russians to keep me company, I stayed up to watch how much snow would fall, checking the view from the back and front porches frequently throughout the night. Again, weather nerd here. It was a decent amount of snow for this area of Texas, and it sure did create an interesting scenario for the Super Bowl. By the way, my favorite ad was the Motorola one. It advertised their Xoom tablet PC that they hope will compete with the iPad. There is a decent write up about it here.  

Here is the Motorola Ad:

And here is the original ad ran by Apple in 1984 that Motorola is spoofing:
I think Motorola was pretty much spot on!

But back to the point. I took quite a few photos and videos of the snow etc., but I seem to have misplaced my camera. While indulging in what I like to call the D Double T (Doc's and Tony's Tavern, the two main and previously often mention bars in Muenster) I let the buckets creep up on me and I somehow managed to lose my camera. By the way, if you were at Tony's last weekend and found a black Nikon, I would greatly appreciate if you let me know or just took it back to Tony's. It is actually not my camera, rather it is the camera that my sister and I bought our brother as a congratulatory gift when he graduated from Officer Candidate School, my bro is a Marine and I'm pretty damn proud of him. It sort of runs in our family (my dad and uncle are both retired Marines). Anyways, with the snow and ice, I was in a mood to have a good time, and that I did. Saw some more great friends, crashed at my grandma's house one night (she offered to make me breakfast in the morning which I had to decline due to the fact that I was already 10 minutes late for "work") and crashed at one of my "in-town" headquarters another night. A great friend of my brother's and mine used to live with his mom in town and we used to eat, sleep, and party there quite a bit back then and even into college. Then he moved into his own house, which I now frequent. But that has not stopped us from spending Saturday and Sunday mornings waking up on their couches to the sounds of their giggling grandkids. The mornings there are always entertaining as we talk about the night we had before and catch up with the fam. They are always so welcoming and forgiving. Sometimes we come in a little loud and sometime a little hungry... they are so good to us. Heck, we sleep there even when none of their kids are around, and they are still so nice to us... even though we snore, stink, eat, and deuce up their house. It's great to have those "in-town" headquarters, and I am lucky to have quite a few. Makes life easier and safer. I only wish my Dorito Face was not so horrible. I would feel a little better about resting my head on these wonderful people's furniture... ha ha. 

But anyway... Doc's was good as usual and Tony's too. Got to see the regulars and had the opportunity to do my version of the two-step with a "gal" from Chi-Town. It was pretty funny... there I was in a pair of cowboy boots (barely) , an Army surplus jacket, and a modified version of the Castro hat atop my head, and apparently I just looked like the authority on country/western dancing... ha ha. But it was a lot of fun. I had pics, but of course they disappeared with my, eh hem, my brother's camera. If you're reading this my brother, I do apologize, and as soon as this blog lands me on some sketch comedy or MTV reality show and puts some greenbacks in my front pocket wallet, (I never liked billfolds, they are too uncomfortable to sit on and too bulky. I am an advocate for front pocket wallets and money clips) I will purchase you a wonderful new camera that kicks the lost one's specs to the dirt. But enough ramblings from me... as you can tell these past two weeks have been full of frigid temperatures, lots of "quality" time at home and in-town headquarters, snow and ice, White Russians, buckets of beer, D Double Ts, and of course Dorito Faces. With that here are some of the pics I managed to save before losing the camera.

Needless to say, we did not get any mail, and the Blockbuster movie we had been trying to return was obviously ruined:

This is what the County Road that runs perpendicular to the lane leading to my house looked like:

The creek on said County Road:

 This poor calf. In the past two weeks, he has jumped a fence and crossed a cattle guard to seek shelter from the north winds on the south side of our house four times of which I am aware. I tried to invite him to sleep in the utility room, but there was a language barrier there, even though we are both of the Beast variety:

Impressive icicle on the back porch and at the store:

Snow coming down three days later:

This was my attempt at a snow gauge.  It is pretty redneck, I know, but it is what I had: a Marlboro Blend 27 stuck into the snow up to the end of the filter. I did this around 3 am after it had already been snowing. The next morning, the entire cig was under snow, the pic of which was lost:

It was an interesting and unusual couple of weeks, and I am glad to say I survived the winter storms of February 2011. With that, I leave you with this video. Heaven must have great weather, better than these past weeks, but wouldn't Hell have some great company? Beast Out!

Friday, February 4, 2011

Stir Crazy in North Texas

I am sure everyone has closely been watching the winter storm that has been unfolding across Texas  and a good chunk of the country this week. I hear my friends in Central Texas and the Hill Country are going to be getting their fair share of Winter weather tonight and into tomorrow. I always check with The National Weather Service and Pete Delkus when keeping tabs on the weather. As I may have mentioned before, I am a bit of a weather fanatic. I actually preferred Troy Duncan as my trusted meteorologist, but he has retired and left his  WFAA Channel 8 empire in Pete's capable hands. I still feel Pete needs to prove himself to me, but I continue to have faith. Plus, I thoroughly enjoy the on air antics between Pete and Dale Hansen. But that conversation is neither here nor there. Back to the point:

It has been below freezing here in Muenster since Monday night, and with ice and snow still covering the roads it has been a challenge to get out of the house. Thankfully my dad has 4 wheel drive. I will post pics of the snow and ice after it finally ends. We are slated to get more snow tonight and tomorrow. For the most part, I have been stuck in the house with my 'rents and a steady supply of White Russians. However, there are only so many Lifetime Original Movies you can bare to watch with your mother before going completely crazy. So, I turned to the internet for some relief  and entertainment. Specifically, I have turned to a segment that "Jimmy Kimmel Live" calls "Kimmel Kartoons." The clips are pretty funny. Here are just a few of my favorites. You can check out more  videos on Kimmel's YouTube Channel

Oprah's Favorite Things and Dora the Explorer Mashup:

Celebrity Plastic Surgery with Heidi Montag and The Flinstones Mashup:

Barbara Walters with Justin Beiber and Year Without Santa Claus Mashup:

And Finally, The Real Housewives of Atlanta and The Jetsons Mashup:

I hope you found some humor in these clips and check out Kimmel's YouTube channel to find more entertaining videos. 

Let's hope we all come out of this storm with our loved ones unscathed from the hours we have spent together this past week. It was pleasant in the beginning, but we are all susceptible to cabin fever and the consequences it may bring. Stay safe on the roads and warm in your homes my friends. Until next time, Beast Out!